Tertampar dan hambar

Hey, it’s a rhyme!

Kemarin malam, saya mau latihan salsa. Buru buru nih dari kantor mengejar kereta. Sampai stasiun Kebayoran, hujan deras! Doh! Ketika kereta tiba di Pondok Ranji, masih deras.

Saya berdiam sebentar di stasiun. Terus BT! Sial nih hujan, bikin rusak saja schedule. Akhirnya cuek menerobos hujan naik ojek ke tempat les Salsa. Ya, kuyub! Walaupun pake ponco (jas hujan)

Lalu saya mesan teh panas di kafe yang menjadi lokasi les salsa. Sempat ngobrol sana sini, dll dll baru saya tersadar! Gelang emas saya hilang! Yang bikin sedih, gelang itu punya almh ibu saya! Hampir nangis sembari mengingat-ingat rentetan peristiwa malam ini. Saya keluar tempat les lagi, menerobos hujan, menuju tempat pak ojek menurunkan saya di trotoar.

And you know what? Gelang saya tegeletak di jalan raya tesebut! Antara tempat les dan toko kue. Kemungkinan jatuh ketika saya melepas jas hujan! Tempat les saya sebelahnya toko kue terkenal, yang tamunya silih berganti! Bisa jadi karena hujan, orang jadi malas belanja. Wah! Untung hujan (Maap Tuhan) permohonan saya dalam hati.

Tadi siang, another sad news come. Le’tape indonesia diundur bulan Agustus. Ini race kedua saya yang diundur setelah Jogja Marathon, yang juga diundur di bulan Agustus. Antisipasi Covid-19. Serupa dengan jadwal awal, acaranya akan selang seminggu. Mood saya drop, sudah malas banget! Karena ada “A classified” Race yang akan saya jalanin.

Mungkin uangnya akan kembali sebagian, kebetulan ikut travel yang diurus oleh rekan sendiri. Saya memilih tidak akan datang di race yang di re-schedule itu. Hilang momentumnya. Anggap saja latihan ke Kopi Daong dan Pura Jagatkarta minggu lalu sarana jalan jalan dan kenalan dengan Agung dan Tony. Lumayan lah ya!ada teman latihan baru! Ahahahha!

Anyway, pas lagi kesal dan menggurutu sendiri, sebuah Whatsapp masuk. Dari travel haji saya, Yang mengabarkan ada kemungkinan antrian saya dipercepat.

Jujur saya bingung saya menanggapinya. Antara senang dan bingung sih lebih tepatnya, tidak usah terlalu detail di sinilah ya! Hahahah

Ternyata urusan ke Tanah Suci ini masih jadi Wow sekali buat saya yang kelakuannya ya-you-know-lah! I know, It’s nothing I should be proud about! Lalu masalah duniawi yang datang, kinipun serasa hambar! Hilang kesalnya.

Sebegitunya Tuhan Maha mebalikan urusan umat-Nya. *kibas jilbab*


A Flashback – my reflections- for  what I’ve been through for the past  few years, especially after my mom left.

My relationship with her was uneasy in some extent. When I was 15, I told her I’d left the house when I turn 18. It never happened. They planned to send me back to state, but they couldn’t afford it and I didn’t pass the UMPTN either …twice  hahahahah! So I was stuck at my parent house…even when I got the job. I even asked the Talent Acquisition division to send me back to Surabaya hahahah! Ya…sebegitunya saya pengen keluar dari rumah.

For me, she was hard to please and I was stubborn. Probably the greatest regret was I actually DID enjoy living at my parent’s  house. Enjoy the privilege having all utility fee paid, domestic helper that made my room and laundry, even meal already provided at the table. 

Even my brother, being the youngest, was already away when he went to college and it was actually just near by.

Long story short, I was and until now, NEVER able to live away from her now dad. I promised her on her last days that  she  could go and I’d take care of dad.  Considering I’m the one who live at their house.

Anyway, there is always two sides of coin. Back when my kids were small – more over after my wrecked marriage, I was worry-less having my toddlers at home with helper since my parent most likely to be around while I was working and I am – forever – thankful for this. 

Of course, being the one who is at home, I’m the one who know all her/their  acquaintances even their personal life. Now that she is no longer here… I feel I’m disconnected with ones that outside my circle. How would you  called it ? Degree of separation getting high in number? 

It just recently before I called her sister again, visiting her oldest cousin again, connecting the dots, connecting the silaturahmi.

I don’t think my siblings will able to do it, they left the house since their late teens, when they reunited with home (parents), they’d busy updating their live. Mom less likely talking about her acquaintances for sure, let alone what’s going on with their life. 

While I — the one  who mostly stay at home —  who she asked to accompany her here and there — the one she talked to during the time we spend together.

Approx a month ago, I paid a visit to her acquaintances who is very ill.  I figured out, my mom would likely to do the same had she still alive. The happiness in the patient’s family member face was unforgettable. Probably the spouse- who  is — at his old days as well – feel refresh talking to other people whom he barely met. Besides, salah satu hak orang sakit adalah dijenguk.  

Last weekend when I went to  Bandung  for a  race (race recap will come soon, you come to this blog for this, don’t you? ).  I was traveling alone  and figured most likely to be solo traveller. Then I remembered, my late uncle’s best friend lives in that city. 

Flashback, my late mom was very closed to her brother of 2-year-senior.  I called him Om John. He had a close friend that made there of them were best friends. After Om John passed away in 2001, my mom continued his legacy, still keeping silaturahmi with her bro’s best friend – I called him Om Yan  and his family. On every lebaran, my parents visited them and as the one who stayed with my parents, I tag along. This ritual was somewhat ended after my mom passed away.

I contacted the family again via their youngest daughter who has hearing impairment (hence, barely has clear conversation) and still busy with her Facebook status -___-. Adin gunanya juga nih Facebook selain stalking, #eh!  Initially, I want to pay a short visit as I booked a room very close to their house. 

One leads to another, the first born of the family picked me up at the station and I spent the rest of the day at their house, before the oldest one dropped me at the hotel later that night.  They asked me to stay overnight, but Afiza would come along. And nobody in that house was able to take me to race’s starting pen.

Imagine, 6 years of less news was compacted to 6 hours so-called-family gathering.  Updating what happened lately. 

It is so nice, hearing story about my late uncle and my late mom from the outsiders. How both Om John and Om Yan, really support each other back. When my Grandma was still alive, Om Yan still regularly paid a visit and he said

Nenek Kiky suka om kasih uang. Senang kali dia Ky…gantiin pemberian Om John lah”. 

And my late Grandma, voluntarily, gave a-significant amount of money to their youngest since Om Yan resolved Om John’s immediate-family issue back then. In DRAMA, we love! -___-

Then after my uncle gone, the legacy continued to my late mom and probably now to me.

Being a legacy of parents, is not bad, after all. The 6-hours-extended family gathering- warmed my heart.

rapid transportation ….

Is urgently needed!!

 Baca status teman saya di FB, gregetan. 5 hours spent on road, one way! 

pagi tadi juga lalu lintas tidak bergerak depan TVRI, numpuk semua mau ke ka arah Benhil.

Duh, buang waktu dan uang di jalan kan ya? belum ngomongin uang parkir. #meh

saya jadi ingat waktu saya mau pindah ke Bintaro belasan tahun lalu. setengah hati, karena jauhhhhhh banget dari rumah orang tua di Puri Indah.

Tapi  sepupu saya setengah maksa, dia bilang :

“Ini ibukota ketinggalan 20 tahun, mending cari rumah yang (dekat dengan) ada jalur kereta” Sudah lebih belasan tahun lalu blio komen itu…

i am glad I did what he said.

this city urgently need rapid transportation, but the people is fighting against each other.

What is wrong with you…


My friend, who currently lives in Stockholm just make herself “safe”. I learned the situation later, it was a truck terror like in Berlin last Christmas. I bet she is very scare considering her sons are also at school and she must stay at the office. indonesian, living far far away from extended family, and a minority….

few mins ago, I recalled my conversation with @julogzp. she was my host when I stayed in München. she said   ”  (syria) who  coming to German are rich ones. the poor can’t go anywhere”. MInd you, I had a quite unpleasent trip from Wien to München regarding to these refugees.

We both sad…we do notice,being “rich” for those Syirian means nothing. many of them are found dead in the middle of the sea.

Which leave even nothing to  the poor (at least, what I saw recently) with those chemical attack by Assad. i refused to see the video. It is beyond sad. When it come to war, Civilian suffered the most. 😦

And ( as my friends would have guess as well), Trump already sent missiles as a reponse. he do has a lot of homework in country, doesn’t he? 

And Make thing worst..

I read in one of my american’s acquaintance comment…

•No offense, Clinton wants this too•

Just a note, I am very very sick of reading local  news (Penista agama, kafir, Pilkada, syiah, anyone????) . my mistake, I involved in a stupid argument with one of my acquaintances last night over similar issue.I left her alone last night with her arguments. am not sure who is sick  now. THus, i prefer reading feed from BBC or Strait times (singapore).

reading that “clinton wants this (war) too” really pissed me off. I tried to avoid local news, but overseas news is even worse.

what is wrong the world now? 

feel like packing my bag, move to Anchorge! if only my tropical skin wouldn’t mind an almost-all-year-no-sun place…