A Flashback – my reflections- for what I’ve been through for the past few years, especially after my mom left.
My relationship with her was uneasy in some extent. When I was 15, I told her I’d left the house when I turn 18. It never happened. They planned to send me back to state, but they couldn’t afford it and I didn’t pass the UMPTN either …twice hahahahah! So I was stuck at my parent house…even when I got the job. I even asked the Talent Acquisition division to send me back to Surabaya hahahah! Ya…sebegitunya saya pengen keluar dari rumah.
For me, she was hard to please and I was stubborn. Probably the greatest regret was I actually DID enjoy living at my parent’s house. Enjoy the privilege having all utility fee paid, domestic helper that made my room and laundry, even meal already provided at the table.
Even my brother, being the youngest, was already away when he went to college and it was actually just near by.
Long story short, I was and until now, NEVER able to live away from her now dad. I promised her on her last days that she could go and I’d take care of dad. Considering I’m the one who live at their house.
Anyway, there is always two sides of coin. Back when my kids were small – more over after my wrecked marriage, I was worry-less having my toddlers at home with helper since my parent most likely to be around while I was working and I am – forever – thankful for this.
Of course, being the one who is at home, I’m the one who know all her/their acquaintances even their personal life. Now that she is no longer here… I feel I’m disconnected with ones that outside my circle. How would you called it ? Degree of separation getting high in number?
It just recently before I called her sister again, visiting her oldest cousin again, connecting the dots, connecting the silaturahmi.
I don’t think my siblings will able to do it, they left the house since their late teens, when they reunited with home (parents), they’d busy updating their live. Mom less likely talking about her acquaintances for sure, let alone what’s going on with their life.
While I — the one who mostly stay at home — who she asked to accompany her here and there — the one she talked to during the time we spend together.
Approx a month ago, I paid a visit to her acquaintances who is very ill. I figured out, my mom would likely to do the same had she still alive. The happiness in the patient’s family member face was unforgettable. Probably the spouse- who is — at his old days as well – feel refresh talking to other people whom he barely met. Besides, salah satu hak orang sakit adalah dijenguk.
Last weekend when I went to Bandung for a race (race recap will come soon, you come to this blog for this, don’t you? ). I was traveling alone and figured most likely to be solo traveller. Then I remembered, my late uncle’s best friend lives in that city.
Flashback, my late mom was very closed to her brother of 2-year-senior. I called him Om John. He had a close friend that made there of them were best friends. After Om John passed away in 2001, my mom continued his legacy, still keeping silaturahmi with her bro’s best friend – I called him Om Yan and his family. On every lebaran, my parents visited them and as the one who stayed with my parents, I tag along. This ritual was somewhat ended after my mom passed away.
I contacted the family again via their youngest daughter who has hearing impairment (hence, barely has clear conversation) and still busy with her Facebook status -___-. Adin gunanya juga nih Facebook selain stalking, #eh! Initially, I want to pay a short visit as I booked a room very close to their house.
One leads to another, the first born of the family picked me up at the station and I spent the rest of the day at their house, before the oldest one dropped me at the hotel later that night. They asked me to stay overnight, but Afiza would come along. And nobody in that house was able to take me to race’s starting pen.
Imagine, 6 years of less news was compacted to 6 hours so-called-family gathering. Updating what happened lately.
It is so nice, hearing story about my late uncle and my late mom from the outsiders. How both Om John and Om Yan, really support each other back. When my Grandma was still alive, Om Yan still regularly paid a visit and he said
“ Nenek Kiky suka om kasih uang. Senang kali dia Ky…gantiin pemberian Om John lah”.
And my late Grandma, voluntarily, gave a-significant amount of money to their youngest since Om Yan resolved Om John’s immediate-family issue back then. In DRAMA, we love! -___-
Then after my uncle gone, the legacy continued to my late mom and probably now to me.
Being a legacy of parents, is not bad, after all. The 6-hours-extended family gathering- warmed my heart.